you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
