so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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