Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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