she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
