I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
