New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
