end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
