tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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