i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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