in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
