Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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