i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
