She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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