A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
