and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
