I seem to have left my pride at pride
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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