I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
