How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
