Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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