I got chris browned last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My vagina just recognized that song.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They took my balls.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
