I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
