my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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