No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
