Can Purell be used as lube?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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