STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
