I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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