Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
