he seriously made his penis a facebook.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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