Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
