The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
