How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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