did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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