last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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