The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
