how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
