Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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