He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A bitchslap is in order.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
