the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
