I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
