threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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