You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
