we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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