Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
