garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
