If i come over, it means nothing
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
