it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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