Rock
Scissors
Fuck
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
