Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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