im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Are we still banned from the library?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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