I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
